It’s All in the Wording

I was scheduled for Jury Duty this week. Let me clarify that…I was scheduled for my third postponement for Jury Duty this week. I was originally scheduled for May 5th-11th, however, an opportunity came up to get out of town, so I postponed it to July 7-13th. Due to some bad planning on my part, I was unable to actually attend on the ONE DAY that I was summoned to be in person, so I had to postpone it again to September 22-28th.

Each time I postponed, my husband told me, “Just write that you’re self-employed and you can’t pay your bills if you can’t work.” Yeah, right, I thought…that will never work!

If you have not served on jury duty for a while, you may be unfamiliar with how the scheduling works. You receive your summons in the mail with a group number. You are provided strict instructions not to come to the court unless your group is called to come on-site. You call every night at 5pm to get instructions for the following day. If your group number is called, you go in.
If not, you are free for the day. This is different than the old system in which you went in on the first day of your service period and if you weren’t assigned to a jury, you were marked complete.

I miss the old days.

I was in group 610. No groups were ordered to appear on Friday, Monday, or Tuesday. Groups 600-607 were ordered to appear on Wednesday. I knew what was coming. Just like last time, I would need to go in on Thursday. No problem. This time I scheduled nothing that day.

Then I received a call that my granddaughter needed to be seen in the ER for a second time that week. If you have grandchildren, you throw on your flip-flops and just regret your footwear decisions later. We decided that my son would stay with our grandson while my DIL, Amanda, and I went with Serena. She had been struggling with a respiratory infection and the inhaler was not working well. She perked up on the way down which was very comforting for us
but did little to push her up the list during triage. We waited for three hours for a room but decided that once we were there, it wasn’t worth the risk of heading home only to possibly have to return in the middle of the night. I was glad we stayed. She will be two years old next month. Two-year-olds are a force of nature that can take a downward spiral on a dime.

We got home from the ER at 3am and I was due to report at 0800. I set the alarm and jumped into bed for a few hours. After getting up, I grabbed a shower, spent a few moments regretting all my past food choices as I searched for something appropriate to wear to court, and loaded up with coffee. Fortunately, the court is only 10 minutes away.

I joined my fellow jurors in the ‘Jury Lounge”, and waited for the day to begin, assuming we would be there a half day. I mean, how many court cases start on a Thursday?

And that’s when the trouble began. I watched several people stand in line to reschedule their service. I was curious, thinking, “You’re already here. Why not just stay?”

Then orientation started. The very nice man at the front asked us to pull out our summons. He started with, “I want you to read your summons and then sign the bottom. By signing the bottom, under penalty of perjury, you are saying that you meet the requirements of a juror AND are AVAILABLE for the next week if you are selected.”

Wait…what?

I can’t take another week off. I’m self-employed. And now I can’t sign this because it’s UNDER PENALTY OF PERJURY!

Great.

I headed to the line, determined to find a loophole. I don’t want to postpone again because it will just have the same outcome. If I’m called in on the last day, I will be working the following week.

I checked the box for Financial Hardship and wrote “Self-employed”. I figured that was self-explanatory.

Nope.

I explained the issue to the clerk who looked at my sheet which had about 3mm of writing space. She said, “You have to write how that affects you financially.”

I looked a bit dumbstruck, or sleep deprived, and said “If I’m here, I can’t work.”

Again… “But how does that affect you financially?”

I tried again…”I can’t get paid if I don’t work.”

She looked exasperated and tried speaking slower and adding a Ma’am to it.

“But Ma’am…HOW…DOES…THAT…AFFECT…YOU…FINANCIALLY?”

I now understand how children feel when they can’t come up with the right answer.  I looked down, shook my head, and cried out, “I CAN’T PAY MY BILLS!”

Ding, ding, ding!

She calmly said, “Write that. Now you’re excused.”

I thanked her and went on my way, hoping that at least I had clarified the script for those behind me.

As I climbed into my car, I began developing my apology to my husband since apparently he had been right all along. Who knew? Guess I’ll have to listen to that man more often!

Posted in Uncategorized and Tagged Jury Duty Self Employed